Mothers and Competitiveness: Getting Rid of the Beast

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By Dr. Meg Meeker

We mothers are a bossy lot. We come by it naturally. I like to believe that God gave us a warrior spirit?the kind that sees red when someone tries to harm one of our kids. We are protective, territorial and, well, a bit rough to deal with when it comes to the health and happiness of our kids.

Dave Ramsey and I were recently talking on air about being bossy, and I admitted that I have a ?side? to me. One woman once referred to me as a pit bull. I?m not exactly proud of this.

Protectiveness with our kids is generally a good thing, but it can also get us into trouble. When we are overprotective, we run the risk of suffocating our kids because we are afraid they will get hurt. Sometimes, however, being overprotective is a symptom of being competitive. For instance, we say that we are protecting our kids when we put them in certain schools, make them wear certain clothes or even select athletic programs for them.

The truth is, we aren't really being protective at all?our real motive is competitiveness. In fact, if we dig deeply enough, we can find that at the root of much of our behavior with our kids is competitiveness with other mothers and their children, and we must slay this inner beast. If we don't, we can suffocate our kids.

The Vicious Cycle

When our children are born, we feel pressure to breastfeed. We are told that good mothers breastfeed. And we want to be good moms. If we don?t breastfeed, we feel guilty. As our children enter grade school, we look around the classroom to see how the other kids are reading. We want to be sure that our son is keeping up. Sports come along. If Johnny?s best friend plays soccer and hockey, well, we?d better find Johnny two sports to play.

Then comes junior high and friends. The other kids are popular, and we don?t want Johnny to be left out. So we do all that we can to make sure he has enough friends. And somewhere along the way, we meet the other boys? mothers, and we size them up too. Some work outside the home. Others exercise regularly and come to school dressed in bike shorts to pick up their kids. Ouch. And we wouldn?t even be seen in bike shorts on a bike. We go home and throw the pan of brownies away.

High school arrives and there are varsity sports, prom, dating and colleges to consider. Every step along the way, we feel pressure to make sure our kids don?t fall behind. No, we really want them to outshine the other kids. We don?t want our kids to be snooty. We just want them to be excellent.

But we don?t stop there. We feel pressure to keep up too. We need to be better mothers, in better shape and, of course, always working on that last 10 pounds. We feel this way only because we look around and compare our figures to other women.

Why do we do this? And where does it stop? I worry about us because feeling constantly competitive with other mothers hurts only two people: us and our child. Period.

Time to See the Real Beauty

We need to let this go. God made us just the way he wants us to be, and he gave us children who are amazing. When we compare our children with those in their classes and size up our women friends to see if we are as successful as they are, we lose. We lose God?s perspective of who we really are. We can?t see the deep character that God instilled in the kids beneath our noses, and we can?t see the real beauty that God hand carved into each and every one of us.

Think about the way we women greet one another. When we see a friend after a number of months, we greet her by saying, ?How are you? You look so good!? What we really mean is ?Have you lost weight, because you look like you have??

This has always bothered me, so I decided to change the way I greeted my friends. For one year, I refused to comment on a friend?s weight. After six months, something wonderful happened. I had difficulty even seeing whether a friend gained or lost weight. Changing the way we talk changes the way we think.

So let?s do something extraordinary. Let?s slay the beast of competition with other mothers and their kids. When you feel yourself taking mental inventory of another woman, stop your thoughts. Interrupt the comparison, and refuse to finish the task. And when you find yourself signing your son up for something, ask yourself if you?re doing it because he really wants it or because deep down you need him to keep up with the other boys in his class.

God made each of us and our children perfectly different from one another. Let?s keep it that way.

Pediatrician, wife, mother, and best-selling author of six books, Dr. Meg Meeker is one of the country?s leading experts on parenting, teens and children?s health. Get her book The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers today!

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Emerging Markets Push DuPont Stock To $58

DuPont saw strong growth across business segments in its most recent earnings release, which contributed to revenue and reported operating income growing by 19% and 20% respectively. We currently maintain a $58 price estimate on DuPont stock, which is roughly 25% above the market price.

Source: http://www.forbes.com/sites/greatspeculations/2011/08/20/emerging-markets-push-dupont-stock-to-58/

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Emerging Markets Push DuPont Stock To $58

DuPont saw strong growth across business segments in its most recent earnings release, which contributed to revenue and reported operating income growing by 19% and 20% respectively. We currently maintain a $58 price estimate on DuPont stock, which is roughly 25% above the market price.

Source: http://www.forbes.com/sites/greatspeculations/2011/08/20/emerging-markets-push-dupont-stock-to-58/

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Here Comes A New Explosive With 5x The Power Of Any Substance Seen So Far


HDRM

The U.S. Office of Naval Research announced the completion of a five-year development project resulting in an new explosive with five times the explosive power than any substance available today.

According to BBC, the new high-density material is a mx of polymers and metals said to have the density of steel but the strength of aluminum.

Navy scientists claim that projectiles using the new explosive are less likely to kill innocent bystanders. Traditional armaments have an explosive charge within a steel casing, the new High-Density Reactive Materials (HDRM) is a single solid charge requiring no metal casing.

The HDRM doesn't throw steel shrapnel like a traditional projectile and ignites a chemical explosion with a lot more energy than anything seen before.

The military is looking to use them in missiles, and any round larger than the M16 7.62 mm. One scientist involved with the project told the BBC, "[I]n higher caliber machine guns, they are definite possibilities."

The new material is four times more costly than current armaments.

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Secessionists Seek To Balkanize America


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The United States hasn't seen any states actually secede from the rest of the country since the Civil War, yet secession movements are still alive and well. Though often thought of as a libertarian ideal, secessionists movements exist across the political spectrum, and even some liberals have toyed with the notion in recent years. 

Secession movements have existed for a long time, and they are (mostly) not very likely to bear fruit. Americans have increasingly begun to settle in region's friendly to their political leanings, creating areas where majorities are so strong that candidates for office can comfortably ignore their opposition.  The incentive for compromise is weak.  For some minorities, the only outlet for their frustration with their leaders is to entertain fantasies of splitting their state in two, or founding their own sovereign nation.

Texas

History: Texas is one of three states (along with Hawaii and Vermont) that have ever tasted the glory of nationhood, and the state still prides itself on its independent ethos. Their tourism slogan, "Texas, its like a whole other country," says it all.

Texas was an independent nation for about a decade before it was annexed to the United States. Then not long after statehood, Texas, along with the rest of the South, seceded. A sizable number of Texans still question the legality of the annexation. There is a good number of groups advocating secession; one is even printing Texan currency.

Governor and presidential candidate Rick Perry, even flirted with the idea of secession at a Tea Party rally in 2009.

"We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."

Viability: If any state can go it alone, it's Texas. The have already fought a few wars of their own, so they certainly have experience with foreign policy. Trade is a huge part of their economy as well.  They already export more than any other state.  If the Lone Star state were a country, it's GDP would equal that of Russia. Their economy is very diverse, with energy, agriculture, and technology (thanks NASA) leading the way.

Likelihood:  Possible, but certainly not probable. Even though almost half of Texas Republicans thought it was a good idea according to a 2009 survey, a sizable majority still said Texas was better off as a state, not a country.

By their sheer size, Texans can pull more water through influencing the United States.  And in addition to their influence over the federal government, their disproportionate share of the textbook market gives Texas a lot of sway over what teachers will be covering all across the country.

Alaska

History: When Alaska became a state in 1959, Alaskans were not given the option of becoming a sovereign nation.  The Alaska Independence Party never saw that as fair. Since 1973 they have been campaigning for a redo of the plebiscite, or referendum, that made Alaska the 49th state.

Their founder, Joe Vogler, once said, "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions... The fires of Hell are glaciers compared to my hate for the American government."

The AIP is the third largest party in Alaska, with over 14,000 registered members. Todd Palin was once a member, and though Sarah Palin has never been officially in the party, she has actually spoken at at least two AIP conventions.  As late as 2008, she told AIP members, "I'm delighted to welcome you to the 2008 Alaska Independence Party Convention. ... Keep up the good work!"

Viability: Alaska is about as dependent on oil exports as Saudi Arabia. With the price of oil as high as it is, the state could theoretically go it alone with an economy fueled by oil.

Likelihood: Alaska gets more earmarks out of the federal government than any other state, including some oft-mocked appropriations like the so-called Bridge to Nowhere. With so much federal money flowing into the state, severing those ties could be disastrous to the state's economy.

Southern California --51st State?

History: With intensely Democratic urban and suburban Los Angeles dominating the region's politics, it is easy to forget that mid-century Southern California was once a conservative Mecca. Republicans in California are frustrated by the state's high taxes and recurrent budget woes.  It doesn't help that their votes in presidential races might just as well not be counted. For these reasons, Republican Riverside County Supervisor Jeff Stone proposed that 13 mostly conservative, rural counties in Southern California should break ties with the rest of the state. 

Viability: The political will is certainly there, but it would be a logistical mess.  Stone's chief of staff said that they were "flooded with people wanting to volunteer and help" after the proposal to secede passed 4-0. However, much of the region's water supply comes from the North, and some of the counties are hindered by staggering budget shortfalls. South California would be the fourth largest state if it broke off. If the new state did form with a low tax burden, it could draw business to the region, becoming a sort of Caymans of the Southwest. 

Likelihood:  A longshot. In the unlikely event that this movement becomes anything more than a "crazy distraction," as a fellow county supervisor, Bob Buster, put it, the new state would still have to be approved by Congress.  Congressional Democrats would be unlikely to support adding a new, reliably red state into the Electoral College. As a spokesman for Governor Jerry Brown (D) put it, "If you want to live in a Republican state with very conservative right-wing laws, then there's a place called Arizona.''

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Panda Express Is Getting Sued By The Feds For Discrimination


Panda Express

The federal government is going after Panda Express for discrimination, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

According to a suit filed by the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, a San Jose restaurant allegedly singled out Latino workers -- cutting their hours, forcing them to clean toilets, and disciplining them more severely -- while other equally-ranked Asian American employees stood idly by.

The EEOC suit, which was filed Wednesday, alleges that this occurred from 2008 - 2009.

It's not the first time this nationwide Asian fast food chain has faced litigation. Last September, an employee won $25,000 and her job back after being fired for complaining of "inappropriate sexual behavior."

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